You know that feeling when you walk into a room and, within seconds, something in you tightens? Your gut flips, your shoulders rise, and you’re suddenly not quite on your best game. Nothing obvious has happened, yet a part of you is asking: What is going on here? Is it me, or something else?
That’s not you being “overly sensitive”. It’s simply your nervous system doing its job.
At the heart of this is our polyvagal nervous system, which is the part of our autonomic nervous system that constantly scans for cues of safety or threat. It has three basic settings: a calm, connected state; a mobilised fight/flight state; and a shutdown or freeze state.
And importantly, it’s not just “internal wiring”. It’s a sensing system that extends beyond our skin, continually scanning the environment and the people around us for signals of welcome, danger, or disconnection.
That “gut feel” you get walking into a meeting or opening an email? That’s your nervous system whispering, this feels safe or something’s off here. Heart rate, breathing, muscle tension and gut sensations are all data points.
When we’re surrounded by urgency, anxiety or simmering resentment, our system can shift into fight/flight or shut down. That’s when self-doubt spikes, patience evaporates, and we react in ways that don’t feel like our best selves.
Dr Stephen Porges is a pioneer in Polyvagal Theory and has built an extensive body of evidence around the role our autonomic nervous system – especially the vagus nerve – plays in regulating our health and behaviour.
So when you notice something feels a little off-key, it’s helpful to ask: Is this really mine? Or am I picking up the energy around me?
You’ll know the environment is hijacking your self-regulation when:
- You feel exhausted after certain meetings or people you interact with.
- Your gut feels tight, heavy or “off” for no clear reason.
- You leave interactions questioning yourself, when you arrived feeling solid.
When you notice this, try:
- Naming it: “My system is reacting to the room, not just the work.”
- Breathing low and slow for 60 seconds to signal safety to your body.
- Adjusting proximity: Step outside, take a micro-break, or shorten the meeting.
- Seeking regulating energy: Connect with someone calm, kind or grounded.
- Curating your cues: Music, light, movement or a glimpse of nature can help reset your system.
And know this much: it’s not “all in your head”. Often, your gut instinct is simply your operating system telling the truth about the energy around you. Look for the cues, recognise them, and honour what your body knows in order to perform at your peak.
