integrity Archives - Jen Dalitz

When actions speak louder than words

06.11.2017 // 2 Comments

Brené Brown, author of the New York Times bestseller Rising Strong, says that integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what’s right over what’s fun, […]

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Jen Dalitz

I help individuals & organisations to thrive + survive. Strategy Advisor. Exec Coach. Board Director.

Jen Dalitz

2 years ago

On #IWD2021 I took my 12yo son to watch “Girls Can’t Surf”. We’re not surfers but - honestly - this movie does more to explain the barriers to gender equity, equal pay and unconscious bias than any diversity and inclusion training I’ve participated in. And I’ve done a LOT of that. So it’s a big statement.Earlier in the day, as we ate breakfast, my son had asked me: “Why do we even have an International Women’s Day, mum?”I don’t have enough hours to write about all the reasons why, so this video is a bit of a download of my feelings in the perfect storm that’s brewing this International Women’s Day. “Girls Can’t Surf” is a fitting metaphor for all the things that conspire to keep men and women operating at different levels, with different privileges, on different pay scales and with access to different opportunities. Still. In 2021. In Australia and just about every country across the globe.Here’s the trailer - do check it out: youtu.be/rBjcbZla2cAPut simply: You can’t have equality until you have a level playing field. Until women and men are surfing the same waves. And, if you think that women and men can be equal when the playing field is not level, you’re kidding yourself.PS it really was early morning when I made the video - so apologies for my brain dozing - the movie title is definitely “Girls Can’t Surf” and it’s playing in cinemas now. ... See MoreSee Less

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Jen Dalitz

2 years ago

Like most Sydneysiders, my holiday plans are derailed. Again. This time its thanks to the Northern Beaches hotspot, right on the door step of my safe space. My sacred place. Where I’ve trained to train the horses that in turn taught me so much. How completely and utterly infuriating. And yet, if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that there’s very little we can actually control on this third rock we inhabit.So all that’s really left for us is to choose is our response. We can choose to get back up and go on. And we will.If at this point you’re thinking “I just can’t”, I get it. And so, I present for your inspiration one Gillian Rolton AM riding the magnificent Peppermint Grove at the Atlanta Olympics in Team Eventing. This was the second Olympics for Gill and Peppermint Grove following on from their successful gold-winning campaign at the 1992 Barcelona games. And it’s a ride that not only fueled my love of horses but showed me what true courage and grit and teamwork really looks like. With perhaps a dash of insanity, for good measure.Eventing is an equestrian event where a single horse and rider combine and compete against others across the three disciplines of dressage, cross-country, and show jumping. This event has its roots in a comprehensive cavalry test that required mastery of several types of riding. At the Olympics, team eventing pits teams of horse-and-rider pairs, one country against another. Men and women compete equally for a place on the team, the three highest scores counting towards the medal tally. No gender segregation. Only talent determines who makes the team. Gill was the first Australian female to win an equestrian medal at the Barcelona games in 1992, and the only woman on the team in 1996.Coming out of the dressage, the Australians were on the brink of winning gold when Peppermint Grove skidded during the cross-country phase. Gill remounted (as the rules allowed back then) unaware she’d broken her collarbone and ribs, but found herself unable to use her left arm. The next jump was one of the most challenging on course: a massive down-bank into the water then up onto a bridge then back down into the water. Peppermint Grove stumbled off the bridge under the dead weight of his rider who fell again, this time into the water. At this point Gill had a split-second decision to make: “Do I get up and go on? Or do I give up?” Team Eventing is just that. A team sport. Giving up means relinquishing a medal not only for oneself, but also for the team.Gill was all in. She got back on the horse, and now had trouble breathing as her lung was punctured. But Peppermint Grove carried her home, across the impossibility of another 15 jumps for an excruciating 3 kilometres, and all the way to the winner’s podium. Taken to hospital afterwards, Gill refused painkillers in case she had to ride again the next day. She didn’t have to, but her ride proved an inspiration to her team, which went on to win gold.Gill was later heard to say "You don't go to the Games to be a wuss, you don't go to the Games to be a wimp, you go to the Games because you've got to get through those finish flags no matter what." I get it. 2020 sucks. And, we’re going to make it to the finish line. Together. No matter what. Merry Christmas and see you on the other side! Jen xowww.youtube.com/watch?v=7tXL9atLwAo ... See MoreSee Less

Gillian Roltons amazing Atlanta Olympics ride

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A broken collar bone did not stop her

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Jen Dalitz

2 years ago

Thanks Claire Booth for sharing this story which caused me to stop and reflect. Reading this, I look back on the judgement and prejudice close to me at the time of the same sex marriage debate and it was a catalyst for major change in my life. I’m not gay but several people dear to me are. I couldn’t fathom why it mattered to those who aren’t gay. I learned it was mostly about power and maintaining the status quo of the privileged who held control. Machiavelli said way back when “those who hold the power will never voluntarily give it up”. But the people of Australia did us proud in righting this wrong. It was abhorrent that we needed a vote to give gay people what straight people had always been entitled to. But it was necessary and I think a tipping point for social justice in Australia. And in the end everyone who participated in the plebiscite - including the determined parents and family and friends of same sex couples - did their bit to show that love trumps hate, every time. To that end, there was some good to come out of a bad situation.“My beautiful family”I come from a small, conservative, hard working rural community called Gaeta about an hours drive from the small, conservative hard working rural town of Gin Gin.My family, like many like ours, have been in the district for over 150 years. My home “Mt Wallaby” has been in my family since 1890.I am proud of my families tradition and the great legacy that has been handed down to me and I hope to hand down to my children.I’m even prouder of my local community who I consider more as family than just friends and neighbours. When disaster or bushfire strikes you don’t even need to make a phone call - they just turn up.My parents sacrificed a great deal to send both my brother and I to boarding school and then University. My brother became a vet and now has a local practice in Bundaberg and Gin Gin. I did law and after I bounced around western Queensland for a few years I ended up back in my home town as well.I hope to give my boys a similar upbringing to the one I had and instill in them the same morals and principles that my parents instilled in me.My brother and I share the same sibling rivalry shared across most rural families. My brother always got the good horses and new tack while I always got the hand me downs. My brother has an amazing, almost frustrating, ability with cattle, horses and dogs. While I try hard I’ll admit it’s difficult to compete!My brother is the nicest person you would ever meet and I’ll admit I often struggled to walk in his shadow. While I cut my own path it often didn’t seem to be quite enough to live up to my older brother.So it came as quite a shock at Christmas time in 2006 when my brother confided in me that he was gay. A good looking bloke who always had good looking girlfriends turned my world on its head.I often think back to that day and the words that I said and what he told me.“Gees mate that’s a big decision” “You don’t chose to be gay mate, it’s just who I am”He told my mum that night and asked me to talk to my dad the next day as he didn’t know how to tell him.The next day Dad and I were putting in a trough at “Retreat”. We pulled up for lunch under an old blue gum and as we were unwrapping a few corn meat sandwiches and pouring some black billy tea, I delivered the news.It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and for a while Dad thought I was pulling his leg. I’ll admit it was a very difficult time for my family as you could expect. But the way they embraced my brother with love and understanding still brings a tear to my eye.From that day on my ear became very attuned to the casual homophobia that exists in our society. I also became very attuned to the bigotry and narrow mindedness of our political discourse.In 2012, when the LNP finally won government I was shocked that after 15 years in opposition and all the wrongs that needed to be righted the very first thing they did was to reverse Queenslands civil union laws. I didn’t make a big scene but quietly left the party absolutely shattered.I’ll admit I have struggled mentally and had to deal with a fair bit of depression. Not from my brother being gay but from having to listen to the uneducated hate and vitriol being espoused by people and politicians I once supported.I felt for my parents who had raised a wonderful, caring and generous son and had to listen to the same rot I did.My brother is the same beautiful person he always was. It’s just who he is and me and my family and community love him all the same.My brother set up local businesses and the community not only accepted him but revered him - they still do.When the same sex marriage debate started in 2018 I had no intention of being involved out of respect for my brother and my parents.But when I started to hear some of the spite and bile coming out of the anti same sex campaigners - I felt compelled to find my voice. Not just for my brother and many of my friends but mainly for my parents. The lack of compassion and understanding being spewed out by so called “christians” made me sick to my stomach. The saying of walk a mile in another mans shoes went out the window.I understand people’s religious and personal views but that is no excuse for some of the shameful comments made during that period and I am still saddened by it today. When the same sex marriage vote came out I didn’t celebrate. Common decency and respect should be a given in our society not decided by a referendum.It was a wonderful day when my brother and his partner Mick brought home their beautiful daughter - Georgia Angel Marland-Mendez. I won’t explain the process but if more parents invested the same love and commitment into their own children and families we wouldn’t have the social disconnect that currently plagues us.Today, I shared a very special day with my family and friends to celebrate little Georgia’s 1st birthday. I have never seen a gathering filled with so much love, happiness and smiles.I wish that those who still to this day are filled with hate, spite and ignorance could have joined us.Perhaps if those so called “Christian warriors” stopped reading the fine print and embraced the actual principles that Jesus espoused they and we would be a happier society.But for right now - me, my family and my friends - our hearts couldn’t be fuller and we couldn’t be happpier. I just hope more will join us. ... See MoreSee Less

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Jen Dalitz

3 years ago

This is a shout out to all the dads out there who are raising strong girls and beautiful boys. On Father’s Day yesterday, my mind turned to my late Dad and how lucky I am for the countless hours we whiled away together on the land as a kid. Weekend after weekend, we walked the countryside together, slept out by campfires, gazed at the star constellations together, and built a friendship that has endured beyond his days on this earth. The resilience he built in me to step up and on in life, especially when faced with adversity, is priceless. I loved seeing all the social media feeds from my friends doing special things with their kids on Father’s Day. And, let’s ensure the other 364 days of the year we also build our kids up to be equal, authentic and unconditionally loved. #eachforequal #thisisleadership #dadsmatter #equality #inclusion ... See MoreSee Less

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Jen Dalitz

3 years ago

‪The horrors of Brisbane yesterday have really pissed me off. How dare he? How? I need to channel the rage into action. We all do. In honour of #HannahClarke, Laianah, Aaliyah & Trey & all the other victims of #familyviolence ‬‪Open to suggestions - what would make a difference?‬ ... See MoreSee Less

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